Tuesday, December 2, 2008

How Life's Going

So I’ve been pretty vague on how things are going, now that I’m living the highlife here in Gale Kephason’s mansion.
Basically, I’m back in society again, but this time I get to be all the mutant I want. A free mutant, but I have a roof over my head and a caribou coffee shop in a convenient location.
A very healthy medium.
But there is a catch—there’s always a catch, even if it’s a small one like this one.
Kephason wants us mutants to take online school courses. Like heck! I understand that getting an education is important, but still! I already know enough to live life comfortably. Science and Geography. That’s all I need to know…
Besides that little pain, life is good.
I need to get used to having more mutants in the house though. Maxine and I sort of duked it out today, over who leads, of course. Well sure she can make force fields and mess up my flight pattern with her telekinetic abilities, but she hasn’t gone into the Lair and come back out like I have.
Nor does she live with a sexually-driven wolf who howls at the full moon.
Haha. She just got a piece of that.
Oh yeah. She loves Ulric (sarcasm). When she first saw him, she thought she’d like to get to know him, and then he started hitting on her. A typical thing, but she acted as if that violated all codes of social conduct to a point beyond measure. Sure. News flash Maxie! It’s Ulric!!! Get used to it!
Andy is doing well. He doesn’t look so peaked now he’s slept, and he’s in a wheelchair now. We keep him on mutant-suppressant until Kephason can build his head gadget doohickey thing that will help him control his powers. But he is happy now, and no doubt he knows right now I’m writing about him.
Cute kid reading minds…

Oh great. Ulric and Kyle are having a fight about who’s got more testosterone, again. They’re daring each other to do this stupidest things, and their speech gets thicker with slang as they keep bickering. Good lord! If they keep it up I just might have to break it up.
Unless Roxie gets there first. She’ll probably give Ulric a time-out for all her brains and leadership skills. Make him go sit in the naughty chair. Use the force to get him to stay.
Oh man I’m awful.
But then again, I bet she’s cracking bad puns about me behind my back also. Possibly ones I’ve already heard from Ulric.

Man. It would be easier if we could all just get along. No need for the elitist attitudes, guys! We’re just a bunch of mutant freaks! We’re not, like, fabulous superheroes who are cherished worldwide, for pete’s sake!

But even though I’d rather have peaceful relationships with them, I have tempting thoughts about dumping the lot into New Orleans and see how they fare.

Speaking of New Orleans, I found this recently (and how it managed to follow me along, I have no idea). It’s a song I wrote, inspired by New Orleans’s bluesy attitude.
Here is my masterpiece…

---

My New Orleans Blues Song
Written by Yours Truly

Al and I
Fly o’er the bayou
And Ulric
Was hopefully eaten
By a ‘gator
Trin pines for batboy
Every second of every day


I hope no one has seen us
Fly o’er the bayou
Because then we’re screwed
Which would suck
A lot

And I think the government
Needs to crawl in a hole and die
For letting this city
Fill with the goddamn ocean
They sit like stupid politicians
Which they are

So I think I’ll sing a song
A blues song, I think…
About New Orleans
How it’s sinking, and our vacation, and how this country stinks.
La, la…

And we flew and ran here
O’er unnumberable numbers of goddamn farms
Gone cow tipping
Al and Ulric…

But now I’m o’er the bayou
As I’ve said before
And Ulric is a pain
And Trin wants batboy
And Aleron is starting to go emo
And I’m on nerves end
And that’s our on-the-run adventure so far, the end.

---

Not only have I been blessed with brains and brawn, I’ve also got an excessive amount of cold hard talent.
So ha!

…Ah, crap. Gotta go separate the puppy and candle-stick man.

- Red

2 comments:

Poppy said...

So long as you leave a post saying where's the new blog: I don't mind. ^^

-Poppy

Robert Varulfur said...

awesome, i would so want to live among you.