Monday, December 29, 2008

Updates

First of all:
I got a new red iPod nano for Christmas!!! Yaaaaay!!!

Okay. So now that I got that out, I suppose you're wondering what life is like with more mutants in the house.

Uhm, it's not easy, that's what.

There have been some minor difficulties that still need to be worked out. Aaron's being picked on by Maxie and Kyle a lot, and sometimes Axel chips in. I mean, give the bat a break! Speaking of which, I have discovered that Aaron does have wings. They fold up in these crevices in his arm. I haven't seen them out yet, so I don't know what they look like. Also, another fun discovery is that he kind of subconsciously uses echolocation. Trinity was complaining about a strange high clicking noise. Turns out it was Aaron.
Yeah. And then there's the issue with Kyle and Anona.
Anona doesn't like Kyle, but Kyle likes Anona, thus there is this love-hate relationship going on between them. I just want to sigh.
And then Cody is an introvert. We try to get him to come out, but he's always ashamed because of his stunted wings and then goes and finds a place to hide. I still haven't seen his wings yet.

And don't get me started on Fang.

No one seems to like him much, and that's because Fang is just the biggest jerk ever. Rude, crude, and nasty to everyone. He beats Ulric when it comes to untameable hair. Like dude! The freak's hair needs to be reserved for the manga art! No one can go around with hair like that and get away with it! But somehow, he does.
The only person who seems to remotely want to associate himself with Fang is Andy. And it's scary seeing a little, frail, ten-year-old boy next to something as destructive as Fang. The freak could take off Andy's head.
But Andy says that Fang is troubled by something. He can't tell what because Fang can somehow keep Andy out of his mind.
I know when Andy is in my mind. There's kind of a small tugging. Fang knows and then keeps him out.
But Andy thinks that Fang isn't what he appears to be. He thinks the freak is trying to deal with something that has hurt him for a long time...
I'm trying to relate. The way I deal with having Aleron betray me is writing about it. Maybe Fang should keep a diary?
Hah. I don't even think he even knows how to read. Hadn't bothered to learn, probably, when he lived down in the sewers.

Oh shit!

Ulric and Fang are locked in combat! They better stay away from the tree!
I don't want this Christmas/New Years ruined because of them!

G2G

- Red

Sunday, December 28, 2008

Merry Late Christmas!

I'll have to make this quick because we're finally, finally, opening presents, thus giving me an excuse as to why this is short.
Anyway, I'm sure you knew we were traveling across the country to rescue a few mutants.
Well, they're rescued, and they're in this house as we speak.
So we have six new mutants in the house!
Their names are Aaron, Katrina, Cody, Leanna, Selina, Anona, and (last and whom we all wish would leave) some monster who calls himself Fang.
I didn't pick the guy's name! He by far is the most mutantish of all of us. And the angriest.
Anyway.
Aaron is the first one we found. He is a bat-hybrid, microbat, to be technical. Meaning he eats bugs and uses echolocation. And he has really big, bat-like ears, and has incredible hearing. Like incredible. He has long hair, big eyes, and wears big, thick rectangular glasses. He's tall and skinny, and has fangs and a high voice.
We call him batboy, just for kicks. He's very shy though, so he doesn't talk to anyone much. Trinity talks to him, and she was the first person he shown his ears to, since he mostly wears a big hat to hide them. I suppose he's just trying to avoid ridicule from Ulric, Kyle and Maxine, who would go and pick on him.
Then there's Katrina.
Now she's got wicked cool powers. If you ever need a surgeon, call her up, because there's no other person around who can painlessly extract a brain tumor in seconds without needing to put the patient down for a snooze.
Seriously.
She can "displace" objects without touching them, and she has x-ray vision. As long as she can see the object, she can displace it, and since she's got x-ray vision, there's absolutely nothing she can't see.
We found Cody, Selina, and Leanna together. Selina can turn invisible, clothing and all, and Leanna (who's twelve years old) can make plants grow and can manipulate them. She's got big, hypnotizing green eyes and adorable wavy ringlets of brown hair.
Cody is a bird-hybrid. I haven't seen his wings yet, but I heard they were small and stunted, or so says Selina. He keeps them hidden under his baggy sweatshirt. He's got blonde hair and blue eyes, thus making him look just like an angel.
Then there's Anona, who is, hands down, the most beautiful girl I've ever seen. I say beautiful, because she's not hot, not pretty, not cute, but just down-right true-love beautiful. You can't be jealous though, because she's also the nicest person I've met. Very easy-going. Ulric blushed around her.
Her power is that she can sort of turn into a gust of wind. Not quite though, but that's what it seems.

And then we have mister monstrous and dislikeable. Fang.

Imagine a gargoyle without wings or horns. That's fang. Imagine a human being with gray-lavender skin, red eyes with the "whites" of the eyes being yellow, and having animal-like legs with huge claws at the ends of his toes. He has claws on his hands, and he has fangs. His fangs though, unlike the others, are retractable, like a snake's, meaning that when he opens his mouth up, he exposes these huge canines that would make people run. Fang also has a huge tail that's a little longer than his height. It's big, flexible, and powerful. He also has long pointed ears and (get a load of this) mounds of angel-blonde hair on his head.
He's not furry, just in case you were getting confused. Just hairy, with all the hair being on his head.
His power is simply utter ferocity. And making us want to kick his ungrateful ass.
Sad thing is, we can't, because he weighs about 370 pounds, due to muscles and extra body limbs, and he would probably rip us all to shreds.
Wait. He can also blend into the shadows and sort of...become one. I remember he did that when we first fought with him.
He stays away from us and we stay away from him. That way, we're all happy.
Anyway, it's present time!
I'll post more later.

- Red

Wednesday, December 10, 2008

On-the-Run, but it's not us this time

Ahhh...leave it to a cup of hot chocolate to warm you right up.
To those of you out there in the colder states, I suggest you go brew yourself a cup. It's heavenly.
But that's not what I'm going to write about.
I've got news.
Dr. Kephason has gotten Andy's brain equalizer finished, and Andy is wearing it. I have to admit it's rather cyber-punk, but that's okay because it looks cool.
So now that Andy can actually focus and think now, he upon my request engaged his built-in cerebro and searched for mutant escapees.
What he told me amazed me.
In New York (my crib yo! Where I was created), there are at least three different mutants, all created by the Society. In Wisconsin there is a rogue mutant. There's one near Wabasha, Minnesota, and another right in New Orleans, where we had been last summer.
Jeez...
So what are we going to do?
Well, Kephason was all for going looking for them. Who knows? They could be found out, and that would be bad.
I myself am not too keen on lugging my arse around the country looking for mutants. We don't own our own personal jet, like in X-Men, that launches right from the basketball court.
We don't even have a basketball court.
Yet, at least.
So we have several options here, in my mind.
First one is to not go on the rescue mission in the first place, but that option is totally out. Second option is that I take Ulric and Trinity and we run across the country, searching for the mutants and taking them with us. Third option is to have Kephason buy airplane tickets and we all go to the aforementioned states and find the mutants that way.
Option three so far has the majority appeal.
Plus we can stay in hotel rooms, and I won't be paranoid when I'm out incognito and flying to find mutants and calling Andy up on my cell for confirmation. My phone is probably tracked, just like everyone else's.
But it's set in stone.
We're heading east people. Not as on-the-run mutants, but as a rescue team.

This is going to be nuts.

- Red

Saturday, December 6, 2008

My week so far...

So you’re probably wondering how it’s been going living here under Kephason’s roof.
Here’s my week in a nutshell.

Monday

9:30 am: Woke up to the sound of Papercut playing on my alarm. A dose of Linkin Park to get me started in the morning.

10:20 am: Decide to work out. Go down to Rec only to find Maxine at the Stairmaster. Annoyed, I get on the treadmill.

12:40 pm: Take shower and go to the “Refectory”. Eat ramen and an apple. Stop the boys from causing a food-fight.

1:00 pm: Checked on Andy. He’s doing well.

1:20 pm: Play pool with Trin. Fling cue at Maxine for telekinetically messing up my moves.

2:00 pm: Personal cell phone arrives by mail. Kephason insists that I carry one around. Assemble phone.

2:30 pm: Lounge for about an hour. Try my hand at texting.

3:00 pm: Suppressant for all! Kephason takes us into town. An hour drive.

4:40 pm: See Eagle Eye in theaters. Get paranoid and take battery out of cell phone.

7:00 pm: Dinner at Chipotle.

9:08 pm: Arrive home. Wait for the suppressant to wear off. Play Twister.

10:12 pm: Check email.

10: 14 pm: Attempt to load CD game onto laptop.

10: 15 pm: Am reminded that apple computers aren’t compatible with games. Spend rest of night reading. Suppressant wears off.

2:00 am: Take night flight.

Tuesday

10:00 am: Beat Max to Stairmaster. Woot!

10:28 am: Use treadmill.

10:32 am: Fall off. Decide to use wind tunnel.

10:40 am: Cruse at speeds of 212 mph. New no-dive record folks!

10:52 am: Texting while flying. Nice.

12:04 pm: Eat lunch. Juggle root beer bottles.

12:12 pm: Offer root beer to Maxine. Watched as root beer blasted from bottle. Laughed ass off.

12:24 pm: Kyle lights curtains on fire.

12:30 pm: Axel runs through wall, nearly concussing himself.

12:43 pm: Maxine and Trin duke it out in the Lounge. Maxine breaks TV with force.

1:00 pm: Ulric does up his hair.

Rest of day: Find reasons to not come out of my room until dinner.

Wednesday

11:00 am: Woke up sore. Decided not to work out.

11:43 am: Spend time on the internet. Did unto dim-witted pre-teens.

12:30 pm: Be bored.

1:00 pm: Played Scrabble with Andy. He won with the word phospholipid.

2:07 pm: Drew in sketchbook. Made mental note to get a new one.

3:12 pm: Helped assemble new TV. Max gets Repressed for punishment. Ha!

4:00 pm: Watched The Incredibles on DVD. Made plans for spandex costume.

5:00 pm: Spandex lost appeal. Leather is favorable.

5:13 pm: Screw costume. Don’t need one anyway.

Rest of day: Putted around.

Thursday

Spent all day trying to decide who I should be more pissed at; Maxine or Kyle. Anyway, the wind tunnel is out of commission because of them.

Friday

10:00 am: All-day shopping spree! Went into town.

11:00 am: Haircuts. My hair was relayered. Trin dyed her hair again, Ulric got a trim, and Maxine got blonde streaks in her hair. Kyle and Axel didn’t need cuts, nor did Andy.

12:04 pm: Clothes shopping. Made sure that every piece of clothing was not the same as Maxine’s. Good thing she preferred blue and green over black and red. Jeans I thought would be an issue, but it turns out that Maxine actually likes skinny jeans. I picked up a pair of cargo pants and a few pairs of bootcut jeans.

12:48 pm: Game Stop. Gagged as Max chose a P!nk album. Purchased Meteora. Got new headphones.

5:00 pm: Returned home. Spent rest of day lounging about.

Today

Must stay repressed entire day so Gale can get wall fixed.

10:34 am: Sneak down to Rec to work out.

12:00 pm: Shower and lunch.

12:34 pm: Worker people asked why I’m not in school. Apparently they found out. Told them I’m home schooled. Went to Lounge to play Texas Hold ‘Em with Ulric and Trin.

2:00 pm: Went out an made a gimpy snow angel. Ulric and guys initiated snow-ball fight. Outside lost appeal since we were all repressed. Went in and played the X-Box.

3:30 pm: Practiced handstand. Tried bleu cheese. Brushed teeth right after.

5:10 pm: Went online.

And now here’s where I stand. Everything’s been quite eventful so far, as you can see.
Though something still disturbs me. Not about my life or Kephason (he’s trustworthy).
Well, sort of about my life.
I mean, what happened to Aleron? What about the other mutants down there in the Lair?
Now that I’ve seen the Lair, I can’t take my mind off it. It’s hard imagining what it would be like living down there…
I know the Society is going to have a hard time tracking us, now that they don’t have Andy, but still.
Once Kephason finishes building Andy’s mind Equalizer, I’m going to see if Andy can find out what’s going on.
I won’t ask him when he’s so sick. He has a hard time finding where people are when they’re in a different state. He blacks out.
I bet he was going through hell trying to track Trin, Ulric and I…
Well, I should sign off now. I promised Andy I would play a game of chess with him. Even when he’s repressed it seems the kid knows what I’m thinking.
Then again, I do suck at chess…

- Red

Tuesday, December 2, 2008

How Life's Going

So I’ve been pretty vague on how things are going, now that I’m living the highlife here in Gale Kephason’s mansion.
Basically, I’m back in society again, but this time I get to be all the mutant I want. A free mutant, but I have a roof over my head and a caribou coffee shop in a convenient location.
A very healthy medium.
But there is a catch—there’s always a catch, even if it’s a small one like this one.
Kephason wants us mutants to take online school courses. Like heck! I understand that getting an education is important, but still! I already know enough to live life comfortably. Science and Geography. That’s all I need to know…
Besides that little pain, life is good.
I need to get used to having more mutants in the house though. Maxine and I sort of duked it out today, over who leads, of course. Well sure she can make force fields and mess up my flight pattern with her telekinetic abilities, but she hasn’t gone into the Lair and come back out like I have.
Nor does she live with a sexually-driven wolf who howls at the full moon.
Haha. She just got a piece of that.
Oh yeah. She loves Ulric (sarcasm). When she first saw him, she thought she’d like to get to know him, and then he started hitting on her. A typical thing, but she acted as if that violated all codes of social conduct to a point beyond measure. Sure. News flash Maxie! It’s Ulric!!! Get used to it!
Andy is doing well. He doesn’t look so peaked now he’s slept, and he’s in a wheelchair now. We keep him on mutant-suppressant until Kephason can build his head gadget doohickey thing that will help him control his powers. But he is happy now, and no doubt he knows right now I’m writing about him.
Cute kid reading minds…

Oh great. Ulric and Kyle are having a fight about who’s got more testosterone, again. They’re daring each other to do this stupidest things, and their speech gets thicker with slang as they keep bickering. Good lord! If they keep it up I just might have to break it up.
Unless Roxie gets there first. She’ll probably give Ulric a time-out for all her brains and leadership skills. Make him go sit in the naughty chair. Use the force to get him to stay.
Oh man I’m awful.
But then again, I bet she’s cracking bad puns about me behind my back also. Possibly ones I’ve already heard from Ulric.

Man. It would be easier if we could all just get along. No need for the elitist attitudes, guys! We’re just a bunch of mutant freaks! We’re not, like, fabulous superheroes who are cherished worldwide, for pete’s sake!

But even though I’d rather have peaceful relationships with them, I have tempting thoughts about dumping the lot into New Orleans and see how they fare.

Speaking of New Orleans, I found this recently (and how it managed to follow me along, I have no idea). It’s a song I wrote, inspired by New Orleans’s bluesy attitude.
Here is my masterpiece…

---

My New Orleans Blues Song
Written by Yours Truly

Al and I
Fly o’er the bayou
And Ulric
Was hopefully eaten
By a ‘gator
Trin pines for batboy
Every second of every day


I hope no one has seen us
Fly o’er the bayou
Because then we’re screwed
Which would suck
A lot

And I think the government
Needs to crawl in a hole and die
For letting this city
Fill with the goddamn ocean
They sit like stupid politicians
Which they are

So I think I’ll sing a song
A blues song, I think…
About New Orleans
How it’s sinking, and our vacation, and how this country stinks.
La, la…

And we flew and ran here
O’er unnumberable numbers of goddamn farms
Gone cow tipping
Al and Ulric…

But now I’m o’er the bayou
As I’ve said before
And Ulric is a pain
And Trin wants batboy
And Aleron is starting to go emo
And I’m on nerves end
And that’s our on-the-run adventure so far, the end.

---

Not only have I been blessed with brains and brawn, I’ve also got an excessive amount of cold hard talent.
So ha!

…Ah, crap. Gotta go separate the puppy and candle-stick man.

- Red